A few minutes ago I found myself talking to Maggie. It’s exactly a month today since she left this part of her journey and the grief for me is still so very raw.
Maggie’s ashes are in a box to the left of where I’m currently sitting. It bothers me that she’s still in there – or rather her ashes are still in there. I want so very much to let her free – but no place seems deserving of her.
The thought has crossed my mind to keep her ashes in that box until I die – then put our ashes together and release them into where ever the fuck the releaser decides. Flush us down the toilet for all I care because the reality is once our bodies have ceased to work our energy finds a new source. What we leave behind is for recycling. So long as Maggie and I recycle together.
Yes, my grief for Maggie leaving this life continues to hurt. The last few paragraphs have helped me realise this fact. Whatever I do, including writing this blog post – even including setting up this web-site blog post to inform you all that I’m bored isn’t helping with the grief.
At the same time my thoughts are focused on someone I care for greatly. She is having a shit few days – but will get through with her usual determination though because she doesn’t just have one hell of a great heart, she IS one hell of a huge heart.
Anyway – back to boredom. Netflix offers nothing. Stan offers nothing. Foxtel is not connected at the moment but the AFL is about to begin so it will be accessible in less than two weeks. I doubt I’d want to watch anything on there anyway so Foxtel offers me nothing even though it isn’t offering me anything in reality.
Music? Can’t decide.
You Tube maybe? Can’t be bothered. Things were so bad that earlier I tried to watch a religious viewpoint regarding after death stuff. Boring! The moment I hear ‘In the Beginning’ – or variations to thus – it’s like “take me now!”
Should I post this ramble tonight in case I die????? Give you all a heads up – you know….for goodness sake DON’T mock Genesis!!!
What do I do then to attempt to cure my boredom? I grab my iPad and write a blog post about how bored I am – so bored in fact that I decided to write a blog post about how bored I am in the hope it’d help the boredom.
Frik – this is my first Wobbly Boots Duke post!!!